“You feel there has been an act of genuine hostility toward you by the designer” when they stop making something you’re able to wear. It’s like they don’t want you to have it." - Nora Ephron
The industry's continued obsession with youth can be alienating for anyone who doesn't want to spend their days wearing baby doll dresses, smock shirts or any of the other trends that seem to be ripped straight out a preteen's closet. The New York Times has an interesting Cathy Horn penned piece this week on the subject of aging and fashion which touches briefly on the subject of plus size shopping.
Label-mad or not, many American women can’t find the clothes they want, and have the means to buy. Audrey Smaltz, a fashion show producer in New York, is on her way to Las Vegas in two weeks to celebrate her 70th birthday with a dinner dance at the Bellagio hotel.
“I want to look sexy and they don’t sell sexy for a size 18,” said Ms. Smaltz, who asked Cassandra Broomfield, a custom dressmaker, to make her a short white dress for the party. Ms. Smaltz finds blouses and sexy tops in her size by Lafayette 148.
I found this statement very true. Designers often don't make "sexy" clothing in larger sizes or for women who are older. For some reason older women, who quite frankly have the most buying power, get shut out because designers aren't catering to their needs. I've never really understood why designers do this, sure young girls will always need clothes but its their mothers, grandmothers and older peers who are more likely to have the cash to spend on high end prices. Add to this the fact that older women just bring a certain grace and confidence to clothes, one look at the stunning Carmen Dell'Orefice can tell you that.
I would like to open up discussion about this article/subject matter to the group. Do you feel there is such a thing as age approrpirate dressing in the first place and/or do you feel that your age plays a part in your shopping experience. I would definitely like to know how people feel about this because I think its something every woman regardless of size will have to deal with eventually in her life.
22 comments:
great blog... as an over 40 plus size shopper who loves clothes, i too find it a bit daunting to find sexy fun wear without looking like my teen daughter. i want up to the minute fashion, but i dont want cheap looking..i dont want tea length dresses, too wide short sleeves or anything else that screams my great-grandmother. i do want cute sundresses, knee length or above smock dresses that dont look like im pregnant.
I know that you didn't directly ask for comments about this, but I have to echo your statements about the strange way labels ignore older women and fat women. It just doesn't seem to make economic sense.
To your question at hand: I really don't believe in age-appropriate dressing as a concept, but as I've burst past my teens and twenties, there are just some things I won't buy anymore. I'm not entirely sure if this is because my body is shaped differently now, or if I just feel like I "shouldn't" wear certain things.
I am soon to be 48; flove to shop with my 20 y/o girl who is on top of everything spiffy. She helps me alot. Sometimes I see fabulous goodies that I really, really want but feel I shouldn't d/t my "age" as well as fuss over spending big bucks on one item that will last forever (think room & board, tuition for her). Thanks for your attention to us.
Somebody's Mum in NY
I've fairly recently lost weight again, and am really frustrated by it. It seems as if it's actually harder to find clothes at size 8 than it was as a size 12. Saying this aloud in my usual "upcale" resale shop got me sneered at by one of the volunteers, which was very annoying, but it's true.
Just because I'm a size 8 doesn't mean that I'm suddenly either a petite or a woman who wants to wear styles that are suitable for teenagers. I don't want to just find miniskirts, damn it! I want the same cool-looking "grownup" clothes that are available in larger sizes, and I can't find them. Grrrrrr......
for the most part, id grown up with a punk aesthetic with a subdued touch. in my teens i dressed a lot older but now, amidst nyc where you can pull just about anything off without feeling too ludicrous. i feel quite liberated. Im at that age where i won't be judged for 'well, shes just a kid, thats why she dresses that way' or "she's too old to think that works on her", both sentiments that i think are judgemental and unnecessary. I think i just sort of go with the flow. Express myself based on my moods on any given day with an innate sense of knowing what IS flattering and what is not. I have a friend who is in her 40's who dresses in everything from old goth mary janes and crazy hoisery to expensive suits and looks great regardless so i really think its a question of realizing what is appropriate for any given social situation/surroundings versus your age.
I've always been one for vintage and unique items over designerwear so the trends in production/marketing only affect me so much, but as always, is a due source of frustration and an apt 'tsk tsk tsk'.
I would imagine that if you are both plus-sized and older, it would be easier to shop, because the plus-sized clothes are generally less "young" in appearance. However, if you're younger and plus-sized, it's more of a problem to find something age-appropriate.
As for older women who are not plus-sized: Betsey Johnson does a good job of showing that a person can wear whatever they want, despite their age. That doesn't keep her from looking crazy when she does it, but at least she sets a precedent.
The Guardian had an interesting article about this recently that has some good recommendations for British readers.
I don't think there's such a thing as 'age appropriate' dressing because then you get into the whole thing of 'who's the decider' and who made the rules. If you want to wear it, it makes you look and feel good, go for it.
That said I think your tastes definitely change as you age, even from adolescence to twenties, twenties to thirties, so inevitably the majority of over 60s, over 70s, over 80s, etc, will have a different aesthetic from when they were younger.
CoS (Clothes of Style) is great for older, classic dressing on a budget - not so great for plus-sizes though it does have a few pieces.
I think it's more about personality/environment appropriate than age appropriate. I've seen women in their sixties who can pull off pigtails in a way I can't (I'm in my twenties). I work as a nanny, where as my boyfriend does the corporate life, so I dress the same way I did when I was a teenager (altering or sewing most of my clothes so they fit me just as I want them to). My boyfriend must wear suits that age him by at least five years. On the weekends we both look as if we're about seventeen. I think it's mostly attitude. I don't try to wear things that make me look a certain way, but rather look for and make stuff that fits my personality. My boss is in her forties and makes clothes with me when the babies nap. So, she definitely isn't dressing her age. But she looks amazing. Then again I live in Portland, Oregon where the worst thing you can do is look like a lemming, so perhaps I'm a little swayed.
This is an issue I've thought about a lot. I'm in my late 40's and have been a plus size, a size 8, and a (more balanced) sz. 12-14, which is where i'm most comfortable. I want clothing that FITS, no matter what size. As far as age appropiate, there's a big difference between style and taste, comfortable and sloppy, sexy and slutty. Fashion also has to fit your needs. I have kind of adopted a few "looks" that work for my body and lifestyle. Designers in general seem to be out of touch with what all women regardless of size or age need in their lives - clothes that make us look and feel GOOD. That comes from quality and fit, and shouldn't be so darned hard to do. Thanks for letting me rant - love this blog, btw.
I've been wondering about 'age appropriateness' myself. We are surrounded by the usual double standards: those Vogue dress-for-your-age spreads, then candids of Anna Wintour at some show looking like the wrong side of Freaky Friday. Kinda mixes the message, don't you think?
There is a fair amount of "mutton dressed as lamb" in my city. I look at is as no different from people wearing ill-fitting clothes; it's just fit of a different nature. However much I've tried though, I just can't do the leggings-under-mini/shorts look. I feel like I'm trying too hard!
I haven't had to worry much about dressing for my age, but I tend to think that fashion is too individual to say, "You're 50 now so you must wear this." The only time I have confronted this was as a fresh-out-of-college teacher. At 22, I was only a little older than my high school students and I wanted to dress fashionably, but definitely with authority.
I think designers ignore the older crowd because they don't want to be pigeon-holed into being a label that only caters to the old. They know that many older people want to dress more youthfully and can sometimes find something that works for them in a youthful label. But "heaven forbid" a young person wear "an old person's label."
I want to see more high-end designers who are known for classic design made with quality fabrics extend the size range of their lines. I'd like to be able to purchase Armani, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Donna Karan, YSL, etc. in sizes 18 and 20. At 46, I have the money to make investment purchases of items that I'd like to keep in by wardrobe for years so I want to be able to purchase items in wool, silk, cashmere; not polyester. I'm just tired of being limited to bridge line fashion and Lane Bryant, Avenue, Torrid, et. al. are not my style or desired level of quality.
It's funny about "age-appropriateness." I've always dressed sort of older for what I am, particularly when I was in my 20s, because I have a young face and I'm also a woman of color, so I'm conscious of my appearance and what I put out.
I still hew to that. The "mutton dressed as lamb" isn't my thing at all, although I do have friends who do so.
And BTW, Carmen Dell'Orefice is just as fly as she wants to be. That hair. That carriage.
I like to think at 31 I'm not "old" yet but I know I will be someday. I'm always reminded of the Project Runway episode from last season where the contestants had to design stuff for their moms (and in a few cases, sisters). It wasn't at all surprising that the person with the winning design was for the thinnest, youngest sister in the bunch. Basically he was still designing for a model.
The contestants totally complained about having to design for a larger woman and they had no idea how to make a larger middle-aged woman look good. They didn't care about the "challenge" of it. In fact I think that's why designers don't like designing for non-model bodies. They're not engineers trying to solve a problem. They're artists trying to make the "prettiest" picture. And I guess starting with a less-than-perfect "canvas" is a handicap to their beautiful creations.
Dahling -
Because my mother burned our birth certificates (and hers) when I was a wee one, and insisted that I stay 11 years old for ten years, I don't know my chronological age, only that I am definitely older than Lindsay Lohan. Not including her liver, of course. The issue of "age appropriate" dressing has always been a vexing one. There is little more ridiculous than a parade of women in babydoll tops and leggings, no matter what their ages. Personally, I always look fabulous, and better than anyone else in the room.
It starts with my fabulous decolletage, spun gold blonde hair, and of course, becoming modesty. If anyone thinks plus size older women look bad, remember Audrey Hepburn in her dotage...the woman INSISTED on wearing strapless dresses! Did she not own a mirror?
I think Kristen put her finger on it when she said that no designer or line dare be associated with old age, a highly stigmatized concept in our youth-worshipping culture. The same is true of weight: this really does seem to be one of the places where taboo actually outweighs (no pun intended) the supposedly all-conquering drive for profit. Designers and retailers could make a fortune selling good clothes for older women, and heavier women, but they're so frightened of, and horrified by, the taboo against fat that they won't risk even being associated with the IDEA of fat (consider Old Navy's recent decision to pull its plus line from the stores and relegate it to the online.) It's astonishing, and sad, but it certainly speaks to the state of our cultural prejudices.
Regarding the "age-appropriate" idea that a woman of forty need neither dress like the mother of the bride nor expose every last dimple, however, one can only wish that the young were a bit more age-appropriate themselves. What's appropriate about a twelve-year-old dressing like a twenty-dollar whore I will never understand, and yet, in the mass, we're much more horrified if a mature woman does so. Sad world.
I'm a fledgling plus size designer, who worked in the teen market for ages (yawn). It is WAY harder to design and fit funky edgy clothes for plus sizes, unless you're doing custom work. It has nothing to do with the size of the body, but rather that the variations in shape are so much greater when more flesh is added to the skeleton. I think plus size bodies have so much more scope for detail in design, and I love the way flesh can be used as a sculptural element.
As for the age thing, I realised recently that my internal age has always been 28. When I was younger I got it so wrong because I was trying to look like my sophisticated inner 28 year old, and now at 40 I'm trying to fool people into thinking I'm still 28. Hopefully I shall continue to not-age gracefully.
I think I've already answered this in a previous anonymous comment - that I 've always loved fashion but now that I can afford it ... nothing suits my shape or age (not yet a huge issue I'm only 33).
It's really annoying. I've just bought a £200 plus Mint, Jodi Arnold top from a leading global online designer website and it makes me look pregnant or just fat. Yes, my shape needs structure & tailoring, but there isn't a great deal of that around at the moment. Oh well.. I'll just have to get my money back and design my own clothes that flatter & make me look damn good!
"mutton dressed as lamb"
Love this expression. Also love your blog which I've just discovered.
I've been struggling with this as well. Having turned 50 this year, I'm not ready to go gently into that good night of Eileen Fisher, but "baby doll" looks as ridiculous on me now as it did when it was popular the first time around. I'm short and large-busted, and generally look better in styles that are closer fitting but skim my body. I was just preparing to blog about this as well (unefemmeduncertainage.blogspot), and will definitely link to your item here.
I'm 43, and I don't think there's such thing as age appropriate dressing, just appropriate dressing. That is, one should dress according to their body-type and their personality. For instance, I am a youthful 43 year old student, no children, still living that single girl life. I neither want to dress like the "typical" middle aged woman is expected to dress nor does it suit my personality. Yet I don't dress like a "teenager" either. I like fashion and I pay attention to the trends (or the late 70's and early 80's styles rehashed from my youth). Just like I did then, I simply pick and wear what I like and discard all else.
My signature is sexy boot cut jeans in dark wash, contemporary blazer, awesome shoes and bold modern jewelry. I also wear the more baby doll shirts, and "gasp" leggings, minis (in winter and fall with dark hose) and capris. My philosophy is wear what you like and what does not call attention to your deficits whatever those might be at whatever age. Those people that say you can't wear this and that at whatever age are ridiculous. Don't listen to them. Fashion is supposed to be fun and an expression of your inner spirit. Age is just a number, you are an individual not an age. Peace.
Amen Sister! It also doesn't make much economic sense to exclude the plus-size petite (those ladies who are shorter than 5" 2"). I can't tell you how tired I am of wearing pants with crotches that hang to my knees. I got a good butt and I'd like to show it off!
I have been a custom designer and dressmaker for 30 years and I am in business because women want to be involved in the creative design of their clothing, have not found what they want in ready to wear and are willing to take the little bit of extra time it takes to have a garment custom made for them. Dressmaking is an ancient profession, and as ready to wear becomes even more out of touch with what women want to wear, know that you do have an alternative. Look for local dressmakers through internet searches etc. They are available and at your service!
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